But I must say, my new job was not as well received by my babes as I had imagined it would be. I planned this dramatic unveiling. I told them I had a surprise, opened up my laptop with it turned on to my ClichéMom blog, and gave an enthusiastic, “Tada! …It’s us! …. I’m the ClichéMom! See! Look, it’s my blog… I’m writing now, but for an online magazine. See, there’s me and I write… about fashion, being a mom, women’s issues, celebrity moms, and the things put in the boutique. But the best part? … Wait for it… the best part? I get to write about what I love most—YOU!”
Complete silence….. a total “Bueller? …Bueller?” moment.
What was I expecting? Well, in my fantasy world, where Wentworth and I rule, for starters, was one comment on how fabulous I looked in my Diane von Furstenberg pale gray silk dress would have been customary. Hellllooo? Duh! Oh—you mean besides the obvious, like after that? Ok…. well, after that… maybe questions about about my future articles, interviews and blog ideas.
I wanted, maybe, a Jersey style ﬁst pump. A “knuckles” would’ve been decent. Even a
“Cool! That looks sweet! Way to go Mom!” with a thumbs up and a courtesy smile.
Alas, there was no such reaction… So I did what any successful, middle-aged woman might do when sorely disappointed after building up her own larger-than-life, unrealistic fantasy of some event with ridiculously high, unspoken expectations; I sat there with a pouty face, thinking to myself how I was counting on my Facebook friends to “like” me and give my blog the proper motivating feedback it deserves!
Suddenly I was in a trance of silence whilst ranting in my head, (with the Southern accent I don’t have): “I am a single mom! I am quite used to doing things without being recognized, appreciated and certainly not praised, thanked or acknowledged.
Please! …Somehow the laundry magically gets done, the bill fairy comes, and yes, Santa Claus keeps buying all the stuff you have, and his elves must grocery shop for us too!”
Prince Charming broke the silence when he jumped up and kissed my photo on the computer screen, then looked at me and asked, “Mommy, is the surprise that you bought me a new Star Wars lego?” Uh… no.
As his moniker dictates… with a kiss…. my youngest son was able to awaken me from the negative spell I was under. I explained how important Cliché was to me, and why I felt passionately about writing again, and how I have loved staying home with them, but I missed having an outlet for this “voice.” Then we took turns reading from the blog aloud.
They laughed a couple times and actually started to get it …. and me. Lulu Belle was clearly excited for me. She loved Cliché Magazine and felt like it was a perfect ﬁt for my style. They had some comments about my writing, as well as some serious questions and concerns about what I would be putting in future blogs about them, of course.
Suddenly, Boss turned to me and looked me in the eyes as if he was a police ofﬁcer delivering bad news. He conﬁded, “…You are kinda funny, but I’m your son and even I laugh AT YOU sometimes and I love you! You do realize that there are these people online called Trolls and they are going to write mean comments about you, and they won’t hit “like” on your blog, but instead rip it apart? I don’t want you to get your feelings hurt when that happens.”
There it was. Suddenly I felt like a writer when the red herring entered. My son was wisely calling to my attention what I had yet to recognize. I’m opening OUR world up for THE world.
Gulp. Deep breath… and breathe out…
And so, to the “Trolls,” is it? Well, I choose to respond to them in the future if I must, the same way I had to defend to my bangs, which were shellacked 4” high, straight up with a blow dryer, to my daughter, complete with an aqua net hair spray and my entire 80‘s wardrobe. I thought: at least I’m not boring, plain, void of an opinion or silent! I promise I will write and blog with the same reckless abandonment, because the best part about this is, as a mom, I write knowing my kids will read. Yes, of course I would love to have millions of “likes” and followers, and Wentworth. But just because I write, it doesn’t make it true. And that is Lesson #1. Whatever someone says about us, we can’t let it bother us, because it’s just a stranger’s opinion.
I write in the hope that my children read my words and know with certainty that things don’t matter, but people do… that they are what matter most. Nothing a stranger writes about me, or that anyone else says about us, is going to change the fact that I love them unconditionally. Nothing I read about us can sever my unwavering commitment as their mom.
There is this quote that Audrey Hepburn gave when being asked about her iconic status: “What is in other people’s minds is not in my mind. I just do my thing.”
And perhaps that’s what we Moms on the Move have to teach our babes…. I can’t control what people write about me, or whether you hit the “like” button or choose to follow my blog or not…. but no matter what we do as moms, at the end of every day if our kids, laugh, protect, talk to, kiss, share with, conﬁde in, spend time with, and love us, then hey, as long as no one gets hurt, we approach life with, “I’m just gonna do my thing.”
And “like” me, follow me or not, you got that in writing!